Horses are gross...but this stuff helps, mostly...
Yeah, horses are icky!
Horses are full of, or, covered in: slobber, poop, gas, fungus, skin weirdness, hives, bumps, bites, dandruff, bugs, hair, ticks, flies, dirt, did I mention slobber and fungus??
Yes, your dreams have come true, you have your very own horse and you are forking out all the money for the tack and pretty things, then POOF you discover how utterly gross horses are.
This should send you running for the hills, but you're a horse person, now and there is no turning back. So you just shrug, remind yourself that you'll shower it off later and just keep moving on.
The only way to keep sane and trudge through all the muckity muck of horse care, is with the right stuff to help you, you need an arsenal of random products that you've never heard of before.
So to help a little, here are some of my chosen remedies, sprays, pastes, feed and what not.
Fly Spray: Farnam Endure
Hard Keeper Horse Feed (someone just can't keep his fat on!!!): Nutrena Empower Horse Feed
Routine Supplement (older dudes gotta keep up the health, yo): Manna Pro Vitality or Farnam Weight Builder
Allergy Remedy: Hydroxyzine (you have to get it through your vet, but it works great)
Soap (even stinky boys need to bathe): Main N Tail
Hoof Care/Fungus Killer: Thrush Buster
Treats! : CARROTS!!! Really that's Pistol's favorite, but second favorite are ones that are minty, like these -
Shine Spray: Absorbine Showsheen Hair Polish
Detangler (um it's like 9 billion feet of tail, I don't have alll day to brush it out, I need help): Main N Tail Detangler
For flies who like to destroy ears: Redmond First Aid All Natural Hydrated Clay
For all the random bites/kicks/what the hecks and how did you manage thats: Redmond First Aid All Natural Hydrated Clay or Corona Multi-Purpose Ointment
Rain Rot and other skin grossness: Main N Tail Protect or Banixx
You're also going to need some bizarre things like electrical tape, duct tape, saline sprays, this weird stuff that is like silver liquid bandage gunk - AluShield Aerosol Bandage - vet wrap, sharp pointy objects and Listerine. For reals, you will need Listerine, because when all else fails you mix that with some water in a spray bottle and just dowse whatever wont go away on your horse. You spray that stuff with a vigor and purpose reserved for angry dishwashing, because damnit, your force of will is going to remove whatever funk Captain Nickers has gotten himself into!
You also ALWAYS need the number of your trainer, stable owner, at least three friends who are the same level of crazy as you and your vet, because literal shit is gonna go sideways all the time and you need expertise to get you through what you just don't know.
Whatever you do, DO NOT GOOGLE IT, at least not until you have asked everyone you know. Google is great, but for horse ailments I swear it only has like three answers and none of them are right and all of them are dire.
And if you ever have a non horse friend who asks you something like "Why do you need all those bottles of stuff?" or "My dog doesn't need fly spray, why does your horse?" You just slap them, laugh at them, and walk away! They just have no ideas the tears and frustration and agony of things like FLIES!
Horses are full of, or, covered in: slobber, poop, gas, fungus, skin weirdness, hives, bumps, bites, dandruff, bugs, hair, ticks, flies, dirt, did I mention slobber and fungus??
Yes, your dreams have come true, you have your very own horse and you are forking out all the money for the tack and pretty things, then POOF you discover how utterly gross horses are.
This should send you running for the hills, but you're a horse person, now and there is no turning back. So you just shrug, remind yourself that you'll shower it off later and just keep moving on.
The only way to keep sane and trudge through all the muckity muck of horse care, is with the right stuff to help you, you need an arsenal of random products that you've never heard of before.
So to help a little, here are some of my chosen remedies, sprays, pastes, feed and what not.
Fly Spray: Farnam Endure
Routine Supplement (older dudes gotta keep up the health, yo): Manna Pro Vitality or Farnam Weight Builder
Allergy Remedy: Hydroxyzine (you have to get it through your vet, but it works great)
Soap (even stinky boys need to bathe): Main N Tail
Treats! : CARROTS!!! Really that's Pistol's favorite, but second favorite are ones that are minty, like these -
Shine Spray: Absorbine Showsheen Hair Polish
Detangler (um it's like 9 billion feet of tail, I don't have alll day to brush it out, I need help): Main N Tail Detangler
For flies who like to destroy ears: Redmond First Aid All Natural Hydrated Clay
Rain Rot and other skin grossness: Main N Tail Protect or Banixx
You're also going to need some bizarre things like electrical tape, duct tape, saline sprays, this weird stuff that is like silver liquid bandage gunk - AluShield Aerosol Bandage - vet wrap, sharp pointy objects and Listerine. For reals, you will need Listerine, because when all else fails you mix that with some water in a spray bottle and just dowse whatever wont go away on your horse. You spray that stuff with a vigor and purpose reserved for angry dishwashing, because damnit, your force of will is going to remove whatever funk Captain Nickers has gotten himself into!
You also ALWAYS need the number of your trainer, stable owner, at least three friends who are the same level of crazy as you and your vet, because literal shit is gonna go sideways all the time and you need expertise to get you through what you just don't know.
Whatever you do, DO NOT GOOGLE IT, at least not until you have asked everyone you know. Google is great, but for horse ailments I swear it only has like three answers and none of them are right and all of them are dire.
And if you ever have a non horse friend who asks you something like "Why do you need all those bottles of stuff?" or "My dog doesn't need fly spray, why does your horse?" You just slap them, laugh at them, and walk away! They just have no ideas the tears and frustration and agony of things like FLIES!
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