Empathy
A conversation recently got me thinking about empathy and horses.
Horses make huge allowances for our personalities and we only do a mediocre job of reciprocating.
Horses simply are better 'people' than we are.
Horses don't expect us to know their language, yet they strive constantly to learn ours.
They c
ould rebel and run from us any time we are harsh to them but they don't, they patiently wait to see how we can both get to the next part of the conversation.
We don't give them nearly enough credit for what they tolerate for our benefit.
Empathy by definition is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another being.
I feel like horses do this innately and constantly. They put their own insecurities aside to sooth us when we are alarmed, or sick, or hurt, or sad - you only have to spend time with them to see it happen.
Watch the feisty horse that calms down for the crying kid, or the spirited mare that is gentle as a lamb for the new rider. You will also see the horse that has finally had enough, the one that is whipped and yelled at, who has their face pulled on constantly, who lives in a stressed out world of mixed signals who has simply had enough. Do you see that horse attack the person who is betraying them? No. What you see is them trying to leave the relationship, to get away.
These giants are gentle souls, full of more compassion than we can ever hope to possess.
So the next time your horse freaks out over a plastic bag, shies away from a can of soda, balks at being tied for a bath, take a deep breath, refocus and remember to look at it through their eyes. Try to have empathy for them. Put your rush and panic and personal needs on a shelf and just be in the moment with them. The struggle will decrease to the point of a shared experience rather than an all out battle of wills and you will find that you're able to accomplish what you set out to do.
Also remember sometimes that thing you had your mind on doing, wasn't actually all that imperative and you can simply do without. You are relationship building here, that is a journey of give and take, some days don't go the way we plan, they don't look the way we envision and they sure as hell don't always make us feel like winners, but even small steps are progress.
Horses make huge allowances for our personalities and we only do a mediocre job of reciprocating.
Horses simply are better 'people' than we are.
Horses don't expect us to know their language, yet they strive constantly to learn ours.
They c
ould rebel and run from us any time we are harsh to them but they don't, they patiently wait to see how we can both get to the next part of the conversation.
We don't give them nearly enough credit for what they tolerate for our benefit.
Empathy by definition is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another being.
I feel like horses do this innately and constantly. They put their own insecurities aside to sooth us when we are alarmed, or sick, or hurt, or sad - you only have to spend time with them to see it happen.
Watch the feisty horse that calms down for the crying kid, or the spirited mare that is gentle as a lamb for the new rider. You will also see the horse that has finally had enough, the one that is whipped and yelled at, who has their face pulled on constantly, who lives in a stressed out world of mixed signals who has simply had enough. Do you see that horse attack the person who is betraying them? No. What you see is them trying to leave the relationship, to get away.
These giants are gentle souls, full of more compassion than we can ever hope to possess.
So the next time your horse freaks out over a plastic bag, shies away from a can of soda, balks at being tied for a bath, take a deep breath, refocus and remember to look at it through their eyes. Try to have empathy for them. Put your rush and panic and personal needs on a shelf and just be in the moment with them. The struggle will decrease to the point of a shared experience rather than an all out battle of wills and you will find that you're able to accomplish what you set out to do.
Also remember sometimes that thing you had your mind on doing, wasn't actually all that imperative and you can simply do without. You are relationship building here, that is a journey of give and take, some days don't go the way we plan, they don't look the way we envision and they sure as hell don't always make us feel like winners, but even small steps are progress.
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