In a Perfect World
In one slice of a perfect world, it would be true that all horse and rider combos are compatible and that there is a flow between them that takes no work.
This is not that slice.
In reality, horses are headstrong, opinionated, trained and expressive. Meaning, they have a mind of their own, a way of doing things that they are comfortable with and no idea why all of a sudden you think you're in charge.
Personally one of the most daunting relationships I have ever had to build is the one with my horse.
There is an insane amount of trust that has to be established, a huge dose of bravery you have to muster and a whole lot of vulnerability on both sides.
I wish I had a one size fits all for how to become friends with a horse, but that isn't even possible. I also wish I could tell you that you can be friends with any horse you want, but that too, would be a lie.
Your horse is your dance partner, you both know half the steps and you have to come together to make a whole image.
You have to put aside everything you think you know, everything you think you expect and just listen to your new partner. Get to know them, figure out what they like, figure out how they communicate. It's a blind date and you gotta ask a lot of questions, but you don't speak the same language, so it's a mostly silent conversation.
I will say though that in those quiet moments is when you learn the most. When Pistol and I first met, we got lucky, because we were paired in a lesson program and started there.
I can't speak for his experience, but I knew right away that he was for me, that if he were mine I would fight for him, care for him, and always be there for him. Pretty sure, his only thought was 'oo you smell nice, are those cookies in your pocket?'
So to keep our relationship growing, I set aside time for us to just hang out without any riding. Time to lunge, time in the round pen, time grazing, time just chillin together. I also make sure that we have 'free' ride time too, where we aren't accomplishing anything, where we just sort of have fun without goals.
As part of the kind of life I want to live, I made a choice that having animals in my life was only meaningful if there were relationships built.
If there was love, trust and loyalty then it was worth it, otherwise what's the point.
Pistol and I are in it for the long haul, and that haul might be full of lots of me not knowing what I'm doing and him rolling his eyes at me, but so long as he knows I always have his back then it's worth it.
For me it's more about the love than it is the skill. I hope though that along the way I learn to be a better horsewoman, a better rider and a smarter owner. I don't measure success by those metrics though. I measure it solely on how well I feel he and I listen to each other. I need him to listen to me to keep us safe and I want to listen to him to understand his needs. I choose to make it a partnership and not a one sided dictatorship. For me that's what it's about. It's about friendship between two species, it's about learning something timeless and outside of the daily rat race, it's about connecting with things that matter, it's about being more than a productive member of society, it's about finding the part of us that is the most human - the part that lives inside the heart of animals.
If I am ever queen of anything I want it to be a kingdom full of fuzzy four legged friends who live life to the fullest and who know only how to be in their best life all the time.
This is not that slice.
In reality, horses are headstrong, opinionated, trained and expressive. Meaning, they have a mind of their own, a way of doing things that they are comfortable with and no idea why all of a sudden you think you're in charge.
Personally one of the most daunting relationships I have ever had to build is the one with my horse.
There is an insane amount of trust that has to be established, a huge dose of bravery you have to muster and a whole lot of vulnerability on both sides.
I wish I had a one size fits all for how to become friends with a horse, but that isn't even possible. I also wish I could tell you that you can be friends with any horse you want, but that too, would be a lie.
Your horse is your dance partner, you both know half the steps and you have to come together to make a whole image.
You have to put aside everything you think you know, everything you think you expect and just listen to your new partner. Get to know them, figure out what they like, figure out how they communicate. It's a blind date and you gotta ask a lot of questions, but you don't speak the same language, so it's a mostly silent conversation.
I will say though that in those quiet moments is when you learn the most. When Pistol and I first met, we got lucky, because we were paired in a lesson program and started there.
I can't speak for his experience, but I knew right away that he was for me, that if he were mine I would fight for him, care for him, and always be there for him. Pretty sure, his only thought was 'oo you smell nice, are those cookies in your pocket?'
So to keep our relationship growing, I set aside time for us to just hang out without any riding. Time to lunge, time in the round pen, time grazing, time just chillin together. I also make sure that we have 'free' ride time too, where we aren't accomplishing anything, where we just sort of have fun without goals.
As part of the kind of life I want to live, I made a choice that having animals in my life was only meaningful if there were relationships built.
If there was love, trust and loyalty then it was worth it, otherwise what's the point.
Pistol and I are in it for the long haul, and that haul might be full of lots of me not knowing what I'm doing and him rolling his eyes at me, but so long as he knows I always have his back then it's worth it.
For me it's more about the love than it is the skill. I hope though that along the way I learn to be a better horsewoman, a better rider and a smarter owner. I don't measure success by those metrics though. I measure it solely on how well I feel he and I listen to each other. I need him to listen to me to keep us safe and I want to listen to him to understand his needs. I choose to make it a partnership and not a one sided dictatorship. For me that's what it's about. It's about friendship between two species, it's about learning something timeless and outside of the daily rat race, it's about connecting with things that matter, it's about being more than a productive member of society, it's about finding the part of us that is the most human - the part that lives inside the heart of animals.
If I am ever queen of anything I want it to be a kingdom full of fuzzy four legged friends who live life to the fullest and who know only how to be in their best life all the time.
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